...

I'm sure she won't even notice, and that's the best part.

I'm not sure what to make of the sudden change in me - is it even more apathy? Ambivalence, melancholy, isolation? The fear of fading into obscurity is growing though, with every new person I meet. It is so obvious that we are not destined to be friends, but god damn it, I will make those pieces fit until the whole thing breaks. I cannot be content to give up on a "what could have been" or an "if only" even if it means jeopardizing my own character for someone to like me. Since I feel already lost, why deny myself further indulgence of that feeling?

I cannot make everyone like me. Some people will hate me. Some people will love me. I am not the most beautiful girl in the world. There will always be prettier, skinnier, wealthier, more secure girls than myself. My looks will eventually fade, and all I will have left is the person I've made myself to be. Please do not ever forget this.