Backyard BarBeQuedding!

Mummy and Doyle

Well. That backyard barbeque we were all going to on Saturday? We went. We ate. We saw the food on the grill go up in flames. And then, my mother and Doyle got married.

We were all having a good time, relaxing in the warm day, maybe having a few drinks, telling stories, and shootin' the shit.  My mom calls me over.

"So. You know how we were planning on getting married on the 4th? Well Doyle's in the house now trying to ordain his brother so we can get married today!"

Doyle and my mother are not religious in the least bit, so in order to help out like-minded friends, Doyle became ordained at an online Unitarian church.  Due to modern developments, you can get ordained and off to the marrying bit pretty quickly these days.

Click. Click. Print. Done. Getting-Married-Time.

Now that I'm in on the big secret, I go back outside and try to keep my big fat mouth shut. No luck. I spill the beans to Stefhan, who is better at keeping that type of thing quiet.

Now, bear with me for the next part. Their introduction was a little... straightforward, so for the sake of a blog post, I'm going to embellish. A little.

Then all of a sudden, the music shuts off. A previously unseen smoke machine kicks on with a loud grinding noise. A cloud of smoke starts to fill the backyard, and a strobe light illuminates the gazebo where my mom and Doyle were standing just a few moments ago. Thankfully, they chose not to play the predictable "Final Countdown," but instead went for the ever so more tasteful "Spice Up Your Life."  As Mel B croons to us, those guests not already in the know start looking around, hoping that they aren't the only ones clueless to the origins of this show. They start to guess. They start to conspire. And before they can come up with a cohesive answer, Chellis and Doyle step onto the stage.

Ok. Now we'll get back to the real stuff.

"Attention, Attention," Doyle commands, " Please gather together over here, we would like to share something with you."

Knowing what's coming next, when I notice they're going to position themselves in TERRIBLE lighting, I cattleprod them over to a better spot of the yard. The group shifts in unison.

Doyle thanks everyone for coming together to celebrate their impending wedding to begin with, and tells the masses the good news: They gon' get to see a wedding after all.

"By the power invested in me, not 10 minutes ago, I now pronounce you man and wife."

Doyle's brother begins the ceremony, and asks for their vows. They don't have any written, because the two of them thought they had another 2 weeks to plan! So they went from the heart. Which is, needless to say, the best way to go. The vows were heartfelt, and honest. Mom had a few false endings in hers, which prompted not one, but two "I'm not done yet!" shouts, and Doyle kept trying to kiss her before he was allowed to.

Already wearing a white dress for the occasion.

Finally, They are married.

Both Chellis and Doyle are .00001238% Irish, so they thought they would incorporate a little Celtic ritual. Traditionally, the bride and groom would participate in a ritual called Handfasting, in which their hands would be bound together with rope or cloth.  Following in the impromptu fashion of this event, there was no rope. But, Doyle is a police officer, and my mom is a "resourceful critter" (her words), so they pull out the standard issue handcuffs.

Applied like a pro.

We toast, we watch their first dance as a married couple, we celebrate.

Congrats Chellis and Doyle, I love you both.

Celebration tomorrow. (today)

My Mummy is getting married on July 4th, but it's going to be a private ceremony just between her, her fiance Doyle, and the bare minimum of witnesses. Aka, you are not invited. But since we all love her and Doyle very much, we (really, me) suggested to have a party to invite everyone to celebrate with her and Doyle in lieu of attending the formal event.  The Barbeque is planned for tomorrow afternoon, at Doyle's house which has a little bit nicer scenery than our suburban hood.

I plan on taking pictures to document, and hopefully get one of me and Mummy since I realized we don't have any recent ones together.

I know she hates that photo but it's one of my favorite pictures of her!

SO EFFIN TRENDY RIGHT NOW

New cards in the Etsy store... I was inspired two weeks ago to get back to my foul mouthed ways, and lo-and-behold, the "so fuckin' trendy right now" line is born. We start with the two icons of trendy at the moment, fucking hipster glasses and fucking mustaches. Yes. I am aware that there are mustaches in the Etsy store. That's the joke! get it? I thought it was funny. Both of these cards come with an envelope that is lined ( a new trick I learned...). The Hipster glasses envelope has light blue paper and a silver rooster stamped inside, the mustache envelope is lined with this beautiful shimmery paper that is covered in mustaches. Its like Disney Princess paraphenalia, so easy to find the randomest crap in mustache patterns.

Illustrations in the works for other cards in this line:

Cupcakes

desserts

inanimate items with human characteristics

owls

scarves

bikes

any suggestions? Anything you would like to see on a card?